The Five Stages of Dunkin’ Donuts

1. Denial:

Why is there a Dunkin’ Donuts every 2 blocks in this city? This can’t be all there is, right? I’m sure there’s a regular cafe with decent breakfast around here somewhere.

2. Anger:

Jesus Christ, why is this crap popular? That sandwich was terrible, and I won’t be able to taste anything for a week because that lava they call coffee gave me second degree burns from my lips to my stomach.

3. Bargaining:

Okay, I’m really hungover. There’s one across the street. I’ll just get something greasy and go.

4. Depression:

Ugh, I’m on call this week, I can’t sleep, work is crazy, shit, I’m running late and… oh yeah, I can order ahead on the mobile app…

5. Acceptance:

Yeah, lahge coffee, black.

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